On my way in this morning, I pass one entrance to the Naval Dockyards, where the International Festival Of The Sea is taking place. It’s also by a heavy, noxious traffic junction of about four three-lane roads. Imagine my surprise when I came across a guy fiddling with smoking plastic bags. As I got to within my malfunctioning contact lenses range, though, I realised that he had set up a small portable barbeque (like the apocryphal fry-an-egg-on-the-pavement) on a makeshift grillpan and was cooking sausages from a supply of meat from Tesco.

“Would you like a hot dog, sir?” I declined. “I’ll add in some ketchup”, he said as I walked round the corner. It’s an interesting idea to make some money, but he was in totally the wrong place as it’s next to heavy traffic and it’s where the dockers drive in – he should have been nearer the seafront. Still, I bet he gets done.

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